Surrounded

I am surrounded by good things even Martha couldn't top!

I have four lovely daughters and a husband who loves me.

I live in a free country with a stable government, a support system of churches, police, armed services, hospitals and emergency services.

I have life insurance, health insurance, savings, a job (or two) and am in good health.

It's almost embarrassing how full I am. And dinner isn't for another two hours! May I never take my charmed life for granted.

A Frugal Thanksgiving

It was the worst of times. I'm sorry Charles Dickens but I cannot tell a lie.

Going to the recycling yard to scrape up the rest of the money I needed for my thanksgiving dinner marked a new low for me. It was raining and I hauled my stash into the covered awning and predicted I'd get back about seven dollars. It was barely worth the gas it took to get there.Vacillating between momentary devout prayers of trust and panicked worry, I counted the dollars and tried to reconcile it with my list. So many of you are at this point as well. It is a new experience. Being poor in college doesn't hold a candle to being tight when you have teenagers! Hungry, socially active teenagers.

And then, I saw them. The three of them, two men and a woman, crammed into a pickup truck loaded to the gills with aluminum hubcaps. None had washed for at least a month. Teeth missing, clothes a tattered collection of someone's castoffs, they were nonetheless a pleasant bunch.

I'll be getting a check or two next week.They probably won't. I'm just temporarily tight, and have a warm house with bathing facitlities and clean towels. They clearly don't. I visit the recycling facility when the pile gets too high in my garage. They most likely scrounge everywhere they can and visit often.

Being hungry and homeless is a far cry from where I am. I must remember this. A little perspective changes almost anything.

Buttered Hot Chocolate

I discovered how to make the most delicious hot chocolate EVER!

To milk, add sugar and cocoa to taste, along with a pat of butter. (no kidding!)
Simmer slowly and whisk vigorously till cocoa is absorbed, sugar is melted, and it's hot enough for you.
Each serving will take about 10 oz of milk.

Thanksgiving Resolution

"Pretty is as pretty does", was a saying that went around when I was a child. Well, thankful is as thankful does, too. Every year we all take off work, eat turkey, and tell everyone around us to have a happy thanksgiving. Saying you are thankful is simple and important, but  this year I'm starting a new tradition.

I've decided to take action with my gratitude. So many people have been treasures from heaven to me! I'm sending out letters of sincere appreciation to people who have blessed me. I've sent one already, and am plotting the second. I call myself a writer, after all, and a letter is one of the most basic forms of communication one can compose. It's the one thing you can write, that you can be pretty sure will be read!

I made a list some time ago of people who've made a significant impact on my life. Some I've met, some I've just read about. Some will be hard to track down, as I've lost track of their whereabouts.  But, there's no time like the present. As a matter of fact, there's no time but the present, and I intend to get far on my list.

Let me start by thanking you, my reader. I value the time you took to browse through my collection of thoughts, and I'd love to hear from you.

Who are you thankful for? and why? People are our most valuable resource. Let's tell them so.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

All the Best Laid Plans...

Have you ever imagined a project turning out beautifully and then being a little disappointed about the final result? This has been my experience for so many projects. But not this time.

When my husband and I bought our beautiful Italian tiles six years ago, we hauled them home and priced out professional installation. Ouch. Doing it ourselves? Scary. We are musicians, not skilled laborers. There they sat. Well, not exactly. They got moved upstairs and down several times and we finally relegated them to a corner of the garage, where they sulked at our cowardice, and petulantly allowed us to stub our toes on them.We considered selling them about a year ago. It seemed the project would never get done.

I'm not sure what pushed me over the edge, but this summer I got my DYI savvy daughter to help me tear out the old linoleum (yuck) and carpet (yuckier).  There it sat, the bare sub floor, and the toilet that was now in the shower, awaiting it's new Italian base.

I had a friend (now worth his weight in tile, er-gold) who delivered his wet saw to my garage and provided valuable information on how to cut, and lay tile. He back-buttered this tutorial  (tile laying shop talk) with profuse amounts of encouragement.

I finally felt ready, and with a substantial amount of fear and trembling fired up the saw. (I did do my measurement homework) Just so you know, the new revised motto for novices is measure 6 times and cut once. I dry laid the tiles, and it looked like it would all work!

My husband kicked in his muscle for the mortar laying and grouting. I couldn't have finished without him. At one point I think we were fighting over the trowel.

The result was so many times more beautiful than I ever could have imagined. I almost think that little elves (maybe big ones) came in overnight and did a professional job for me. My goal was to have it finished before Thanksgiving, and now I have one more thing to be thankful for. A beautiful new Italian tiled bathroom! Finally.

Standing (pulled from my old myspace archive)

Standing in the room

I feel the pieces fall

beside me and shatter

on the floor

like shards of glass             I dare not move ahead or behind



I make myself breathe

but slowly

otherwise

 the air will smell of  some other day

and it will be too

warm

too strong

too full

of dreams

for me to take it in

Two Wee Poems

The Dream


 Multi-layered reasons cloak my furtive attempts at conversation.

Single need drives me to probe, to wonder, to whisper all around the truth.


Keep it back.


No folly like the hidden one.  No time like the present.


I steal away backwards, the azure blue of the twilight sky sillouettes palms, tall and graceful.


Their slight movement in the wind mirrored on the breeze, touches my face.


The smell? -jasmine, dust, and you.



All fetters broken. I am free at last.


The monstrous dream has landed in my backyard.


The thing I hoped for, here and now.


I pinch myself, flying over ground, my feet inches above real, hard, solid earth.


Giddy elation. A wash of peace.


All my trust. Pinpointed to this soul-embracing moment.


It is finished.



My teeth chatter in the cold.


I hold myself tightly, but it is not enough.

Pieces of me are flying away.

What remains will have to do.

And there is plenty to do.


Be good, my muse, and stay awhile.

Carve your leaden features on my mind.

Stay your angel fingers on the memory of tomorrow.

Stamp an image, clear and strong.

My pouring out depends on it.

My filling up comes with your words.

Be good, my muse and stay awhile.


The clouds gather...."Filled with Failure" the words lie heavy.

They burn and cleanse like farmer's fires.

The deadwood past is kindling.

The present fluff blows past my door.

My house is crowded, rooms are full.

Clear away the refuse and empty every corner, till all is gone and peace is left.

I sit in silence on the floor.

The echos tell no truth but mocking lies.

I will not stop to fear them now.

The truth has burned away all farce.


 The Ride of Life

Hairpin curves, breathtaking vistas.

I hug my yearnings to myself and daftly try to shape them into what I believe.

Do we all do this?

No other living soul can share this space with me; I inhabit it alone.

Stand or fall.

Rich or poor.

Loved or left.

Faith's a lonely room.