The Quake

Once in every life there is an earthquake. It shakes to the core everything you thought you were.

Scales fall from your eyes, long held illusions flee away and the foundations of self are obliterated. All is now rubble around you, the frail but eternal structure of life is all that remains. It matters not how old you are, or how you have lived your life, who you thought you had become, for now you are scrubbed raw like a newborn.

Some do not survive. They cave to the terror of the quake. They build a crust around the trauma, becoming a distorted version of who they could be. These are the bitter, the rancorous, the numb.

Those who do climb from the disaster with wonder still in their hearts will live to see a new day, to be that rock of experience which others grasp to be rescued. 

The pain of it cannot be compared to the delight in the newness of everything. First, the shock of seeing your true self reflected, then the rebirth of who you are, the promise of who you will become. For there is not a tremor without cause, without its redeeming quality. 

We that have emerged know. No pain need be wasted.

Cybermentor Mom/Lack of Sleep: Part 1

 I recall a particularly bad moment in my early parenting when I really considered running out into the middle of the street and screaming at the top of my lungs. I didn't, and somehow I made it through, but the time when I had several small children under my wing definitely had its rough days!

During our time in Michigan, our church had a mom's program that I can honestly say was a lifeline. I could not have done without it, I'm sure. For two whole hours we dropped our kids off in childcare, and joined others to be encouraged, humored, and pampered by older women. I vowed that someday, when my kids were grown, I would mentor other young moms. Our church doesn't have this wonderful ministry, and so I am relegated to being a cybermentor!  This post is dedicated to those women and men in the trenches of child rearing at its most crucial and difficult point, the newborn stage. After reading  facebook posts, I'm convinced that twenty some years later (even with the invention of the diaper genie) moms and dads still have a rough job!

www.mhcmag.com

 The pressure of caring for little ones, keeping a clean house, preparing food, (taking care of myself, too?) while remaining sane can lead us all to drastic measures, as recent headlines will attest. Although I am not proud of some of my worst moments, there is one habit I worked hard to develop that I am so grateful about as I look back.

Lack of sleep, especially when the newborns get their days and nights mixed up is the first real ugly truth that new parents face, and they face it with, well, sleep deprivation! I made up my mind ahead of time that the moment I heard the baby wake up, whenever it was, anytime of day or night, that the first response of my heart was going to be, "Thank you, Lord." The opportunity of caring for children is a precious trust from God, and I wanted to have a grateful heart when my babies were in my arms. After all, the baby is just doing what's natural, and not trying to sabotage your sleep! It was not always easy, but because I had decided beforehand it was easier than it would have been had I just defaulted to a kneejerk feeling of irritation. Believe me, I like my sleep as much as the next mom!

For that matter, any disruption in your day or night can be put in a "grateful headlock", because we know that,"all things work together for good to them that love God." Romans 8:28a.

The problem isn't the problem, it's your attitude about the problem. - Jack Sparrow

Downton Abbey: Season 3 Spoiler Alert

In case you missed it - Downton Abbey Season 3 - episode 4 spoiler alert!!!

The sad reality of death in childbirth shocked me out of the British fantasy world I am usually in, while watching Carson try unsuccessfully to keep all things proper and Granny rendered almost speechless.

Despite all appearances to the contrary, the rich are not in control of life and death. Nor are their capable servants. God alone holds that power. Sybil uttered a feeble attempt at faith before she died, the first I have heard of any such connection of God that was meaningful, although the trappings of religion can be traced everywhere in the daily lives of the Earl and his family. From the careful attention to tradition, church sacraments, and male  responsibility, to caring for those under the Earl's employ, to the church that owes its patronage to the Abbey itself, to the strict moral code the pervades every scene, all these elements have their beginnings in the Christian faith, the faith that a modern England has nowadays abandoned almost entirely, its cathedrals and abbeys notwithstanding.

As a person of faith, I find myself wondering as I watch what part (if any) a personal faith has in the lives of the Earl and Lady Grantham, and what (if any) changes, the death of a child will have on this. I expect a cursory mention of Sybil's eternal destination at least, after the raw grief and shock subsides. The window into DA is never wide enough for me, I suppose. Since I've got my head stuck in, I want to know everything!

Sobering and Thankful Times

I laid to rest an old friend last weekend. Besides the obvious shock (he was a year younger than me) and sadness, came an unexpected gift. In the wake of the reality of death, I found a new permission to get my affairs in order, due to the fact that none of us knows when we will draw our last breath.

I knew my friend well enough to be certain that he had planned well in advance for his family to be taken care of, and I have in my usual haphazard way allowed myself to believe that "I can take care of that someday".

Thank you, my friend for the gift of your life and the gift of your death.

Downton Abbey Speculation

Well, DA fans, it's two hours till the premier of season three, and since I viewed season two earlier this week I'm not taking advantage of the reruns playing all day today. So, instead of twiddling my thumbs while waiting, let me indulge in a little speculation.

The story of Bates is, of course, on nail-biting hold as he awaits the appeal of his murder sentence, just reprieved from a death sentence. I'm wondering if this wouldn't be an excellent time for Anna to show up pregnant, just to add a little fuel to the fire, and a bit of motivation for everyone to care even more.

Sybil's pregnancy may feature as well, but I think it'll be relegated to the background.

Thomas will, I predict, still be Thomas, and as the sneak preview suggests, do some thug-like threatening.

The marriage between Robert and Cora is not as strong as it was in the first season, and as Cora knows nothing of the brief liaison Robert had with housemaid, Jane, his guilt may continue to cause a strain, as may the arrival of the mother-in-law.

Matthew and Mary are, we presume still engaged, but their love affair never did run smoothly so I'm predicting we'll be still hanging over the cliff with that.

I'm hoping to see a lot of Thomas and O'Brien and perhaps hear some of their backstory as I believe the two of them create a dramatic tension that adds a great deal to the lush, privileged background of the primary family, and the compliant nature of the other servants.

Carson, I hope, will not have another health crisis. But if he does, the entire atmosphere of the upstairs and downstairs will change. Indeed, without Carson, the glue between the up and down cast wouldn't stick.

The roaring twenties are approaching, and I wonder just how much cultural change Granny can withstand, and how long she can continue to wear Edwardian clothing well into the twentieth century! Edith may well create a scandal all her own. I did catch an inkling of a change (for the worst) of family fortune, which would affect everyone.

One of my readers has made a  guess that Matthew will be killed in a car crash.  Goodness, that would be tragic!

Well, I've used up thirty minutes. Any other ideas while we're waiting? And please no spoilers if you've seen it already!!

On Spending Leisure Time

Perhaps God knew that unless He legislated a day off every week, we humans would continue the endless treadmill of work and never take a break. In case you weren't aware, God did invent the weekend. It began with the Sabbath, and over the centuries morphed into Saturday and Sunday, the infamous weekend, of which most people use only the evening portion of said days to truly relax. The bulk of the time 'off' is used up in doing projects we never seem to get to during the 'work week'.

I'm a great fan of leisure. But I'm not without my own guilt when engaging in it. I suspect I'm not alone.

For example, during the Christmas vacation I enjoyed off with my children and my piano students (I didn't teach lessons for three weeks) I lay awake in bed each morning, justifying the delicious freedom to just lie there. Didn't I get up at six sharp every other morning? Didn't I keep a studio nearly full with students the other weeks of the year? Didn't I have a very busy week before the holidays? All of these deliberations ran through my mind, and it took me a couple days to stop the tape and just be thankful.

This morning I was full of thankfulness as I dozed off after getting up to make my husband a sandwich to take to work (alas he has less of a vacation than I). I relished the warm feeling under the covers, and the knowledge that no one would be expecting anything from me for the day. Well, at least until the dog got up, expecting her walk. That's leisure though, right?
And there is the kitchen, which expects to have her counters cleared at least once a day. And then, there is this Green Room, my ruminating space that I have neglected during all this leisure.

And so, I begin another day of leisure. Hope you're enjoying yours. Work will be back before we know it!

What Your Husband Isn’t Telling You by David Murrow

Despite the societal push for gender blurring, this book presents a rather black and white picture of the male mind and heart vs the female mind and heart. David Murrow has after all, only the male mind and heart by experience, but I am a female, and consequently the book brought this contrast to me as Murrow’s painstaking honesty about what was going on inside gave me a window through which to view it.

Males, he asserts have fears that are often unspoken. These fears drive the behavior of most men. By stating them, Murrow tears down the formidable wall that often separates men from their wives. His goal isn’t division, but rather understanding. There’s a bit of pop psychology thrown in for good measure, and virtually no scripture, although Murrow is at the forefront of the movement The Church For Men. Picture a mechanic-style preacher, and you will have pegged Murrow, practical and tool oriented-no platitudes. It’s what you should expect for the author of Why Men Hate Going To Church. He puts is all on the table. I found it refreshing.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Bethany House in return for my honest opinion of it.